i dont need to be wanted..i want to be needed

fuh hari yg agak besh n terharu siall....
urm intronye cmni..

hari ni aku,kakak aku,cousin aku g lowyat n mid valley teman kazen aku g amik brg..then balik tu anta la kazen aku lik umah die..umah die dekat je ngan umah aku..skali makcik aku suh masuk dulu lepak2...then ktowang pon melepak la walaupon aku sgt exhausted gile babi n rase nak marah akak aku sbb lame sgt buang mase..then lepak nye lepak drp kul 3 smpai la kul 6..argh aku mmg nak marah seekor2 tp tahan jela kan..then tgh dok sedap2 lepak skali my lil cousin(anak makcik aku yg last dlm 4thun kot) dok merengek2 ajak akak die ni kuar main ngan die..skali makcik aku suh die ajak aku..huh aku dah mcm nak hempas hampagas dah..skali teman jela die kua kan..

die dah capai tangan aku dah n tarik aku keluar..then tanye die nak g mane...'jalan2 la'...then ktowang jalan2 la tak jauh pon jalan dekat2...pastu aku sembang la ngan die..

leh me just call him dik jela ek

a(aku)-dik nape tak main ngan kawan2
d(dik)-dik mane ader kawan
a-dah dik blagak mane nak dpt kawan
d-mane ade..dik nak kawan ngan lukman(ntah lukman mane) tp die dah ade kawan
a-la takkan kalo ade kawan takleh kawan ngan die
d-(kelu..tak paham bebelan aku barangkali)
a-ha tgk tu die main beskal sowang2 cepat g kawan ngan die
d-tanak la..die ader basikal,dik tade
a-eh byk la alasan dik ni.abeh cmne nak ader kawan
d-kak jua kan ader
a-erk (speechless)

tgh pusing2 taman ader sowang budak sebaye die kot benti depan kitowng..lelaki dak tu..dgn selambe tanye..'ni mak die ke akak die'...haish aku dah tahap nak carik batu hempuk kepale dak ni..takkan la aku yg pakai baju skirt dgn kasut sport mak die..bangang tol..huhu walaupon ko still kecik but aku tetap cop ko biadap..then aku jawap..'mak die!'..then blah cmtu je..haha geram aku..

d-kak jua jgn balik taw
a-nape lak
d-kak jua dok la cni berbual2 ngan dik
a-ala akak nak lik akak rindu mak akak
d-ala suh mak kak jua dtg cni
a-eh byk cantek
d-dik tak cntek ensem je
a-ngaaaa dah tarik2 rambut tande bengang

a-dik akak dah nak lik ni
d-tak bleh..kak jua tak leh balik
a-akak nak lik tak smayang asar agik ni
d-smayang la kat cni
a-dik akak nak lik ni...huwaa
d-(cepat2 g kunci pintu umah)

sume owg gelak je tgk dak ni mase tu..

makcik-di bukak pintu tu kak jua nak lik
d-tak boleh dik nak tdo ngan kak jua
a-ha jom ikot akak lik a cmtu
d-ha kakak jom la(try to seduce his kakak)
his kakak-eh akak tanak tdo ngan kak jua
d-(start to cry) jom la kakak,dik tanak sowang2

then kakak2 aku dah kuar dah..dak ni halang aku nak masuk kete lak

a-dik sok akak dtg a agik
d-tanak2 kak jua dok la cni(waktu ni die da jatuh air mate n nada sgt sedey!)
a-la sok akak dtg lik la dik


this scene continuously with my aunt n his sister helps also..we try our bes to let him let me go willingly..but he just use his usual power which is HuWAAAAAAAAAAAA while gave me a very sad look to prevent me to go away..haiya y u make me almost cry la..i neva faced this kind of situation b4..im extreamly doesnt really love kids which is about his age but he just too different...he just love to hang out with older ppl rather than playing shit with his fren..dats y most of us love him more than others..he just too different from other kids which is the same age as him..my sibling also love to play with him..because he know how to respect others..totally differ from most of the kids today which doesnt have dat sentimental value as a kids..he is also cute with his ute voice like upin n ipin make us laugh..he even make our day happier with his spontaneous joke...

then in about 10 minutes when he sadly let my hand go i walk to the car..i felt teribble make him sad..im almost cry there too but i have to be strong la kan..padahal umah tak smpai 5km kot...he always make things like this as a big issue..n i hav promise to him dat i will take him out tomorrow..i will definitely cash my promises(sedap kan bunyik die hehe)..because u know wat, kalo skali kite menghampakan harapan dak2 dowang takan caye pade adult dah...so be nice to them IF ONLY they r nice to us..